I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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