She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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