I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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