Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
