Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
