Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
