I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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