i think my tv is drunk
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He shit in the fireplace
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
