So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
