We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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