do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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