i just google imaged poop.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
