She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
