Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize