Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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