I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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