so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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