M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i think im in europe. pls send help
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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