i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
