your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
