Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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