Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I could fuck to npr.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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