another moral hangover. fuck.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
