She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
