Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
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I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
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Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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