i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
