Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
