Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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