does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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