mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
