So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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