Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
