drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
