better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
