I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
