I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
