He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
