i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
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A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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