If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
