Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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