I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
