Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
