Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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