so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize