so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
