Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
