your thong is hanging out like whoa
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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