A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
