I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
meet me or not, i'm out of control
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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