New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
