You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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