You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
