i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We are two peas in an std pod
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
