Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize