she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
