As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
