I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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