I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
