She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
