why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
my liver is dry heaving
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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