if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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