Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I supernannyed him into submission
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
